‘Tude-torial #7

~ By D.D. Scott

For this week’s Chick Lit “It’s all about the attitude” ‘Tude-torial, we’re goin’ all RozFocker-ish!

That’s right…as in the Barbara Streisand played Rosalind (Roz) Focker character in the beyond fabulous movie MEET THE FOCKERS!

If you haven’t seen the movie, go get it right now!!!

It’s a hoot!  And I truly believe one of Streisand’s most wonderfully brilliant portrayals yet!!!

And there isn’t one of us Chick-Lit Chicks or Super Chucks (Hi, Jeff! J) that couldn’t benefit from goin’ a little Roz Focker in our lives – yes, ‘lives’ in its plural form since we all try to do it all, right?! – and on our pages too!!!

How’s this for convincing material (one of my favorite scenes from MEET THE FOCKERS):

Jack Byrnes: I don’t care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
Greg Focker: It was Barry Poppins.
Jack Byrnes: What kind of sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Roz Focker: Jack, the baby’s teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
Jack Byrnes: It was your idea?
Roz Focker: Yes.
Jack Byrnes: What is wrong with you people?
Bernie Focker: You people?
Dina Byrnes: I used to rub bourbon on Denny’s gums.
Jack Byrnes: Yeah! Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn’t follow a simple set of instructions?
Greg Focker: Jack. he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
Jack Byrnes: He’s learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his development.
Roz Focker: The child is adorable, but you’re not raising Little Buddha over here.
Greg Focker: Mom.
Jack Byrnes: What are you saying?
Roz Focker: I’m saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he’s been here and I’ve got news for you, Jack, prodigies don’t eat their own boogers.
Jack Byrnes: And I’ve got news for you. Prodigies don’t come in 10th place every time either.
Pam Byrnes: Okay, Dad. That’s my fiancé.
Jack Byrnes: I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
Roz Focker: Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let’s get down to it. The truth is, you’re so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it’s the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
Jack Byrnes: The Little Jack in me?
[Greg is getting extremely frustrated]
Roz Focker: Jack, you have issues. I’m trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed? My guess is no.
Jack Byrnes: Will you spare me the drugstore psychology.
Greg Focker: [everyone starts arguing] Everybody! All right. Everybody just… Everybody just STOP, okay?
[everyone is quiet]
Greg Focker: Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn’t stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That’s it.

So, in Roz Focker Spirit, have “some rum to ease the pain”.  Put-up your feet in your most comfy chair, and let large-screen, movie-style moments, and the Roz Focker Way get you back into the LOLs of our writing-for-publication worlds!

Oh, and what are some of your favorite small and/or large-screen characters that “ease the pain” of your writing-for-publication careers?

Sexy Sassy Smart Chick Lit & Roz Focker-style Attitude Wishes  — D. D. Scott

D. D. Scott is a romantic comedy debut author and a Writer’s Go-To-Gal for Muse Therapy, plus the #1 Amazon Bestselling Author of MUSE THERAPY: UNLEASHING YOUR INNER SYBIL.  You can get all the scoop on her, her books and her Muse Therapy Online Classes and Live Workshops at http://www.DDScott.com.

3 thoughts on “‘Tude-torial #7”

  1. I’ve never seen that entire movie — just the portion where the poodle turns blue or purple or something after falling in a tank of something.
    But the way Roz talks is amazingly like a character in my two most recent novel manuscripts (both romantic comedies).
    In fact, my character uses the breast-feeding image … though in reverse of this version. My character says — of her best friend’s boyfriend — that he probably breast-fed TOO long.
    Ha. Go figure.
    Streisand is, unfortunately, too old to play my character (who is about 40).
    But then mine isn’t a movie yet either.
    Or published … yet.

  2. Mornin’, Maya!

    I’m sooo thrilled you enjoyed Goin’ Focker!!! Roz rocks!!! And yes…I luuuvvv her kinda zany, almost slapstick comedy and dialogue in any genre!!!

    Everything is better with a bit of Focker-ization!!! LOL!!!

    Sexy Sassy Smart Focker-ization Wishes — D. D. Scott

  3. I love this advice! And that was very inspirational dialogue. I think these kinds of zany non-sequiteurs (SP?) don’t come until my second draft, but maybe I can be inspired to work a few of them into this one. Hmm… I think my MC’s mother might ahve just become a bit Fockerized…

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