[Repost] Female Friendships and Comedy

~ By Maureen McGowan

The recent release of Something Borrowed and Bridesmaids got me thinking about the way that female friendships are portrayed in Hollywood comedies.

I’ve never understood why, when Hollywood screenwriters are trying to write humor for women, they think the only answer is to have the characters be viciously mean to each other and/or have them act like toddlers fighting over toys.

One relatively recent film that really bothered me was Bridal Wars, with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway. I went to this movie hoping for a light 90 minutes of fun and instead I got angry. I get that it was comedy and exaggerated, but to me the idea that these two best friends would get so vicious over a wedding venue was appalling. Not to mention the ways in which they let their fight escalate. Who behaves that way? Throughout that whole movie, I wanted to tell them both to grow up.

Yes, women get jealous of each other. PEOPLE get jealous of each other. And we all sometimes behave in ways we later regret. But I’ve never understood where this stereotype of women attacking other women comes from. As if it’s the default behavior of our gender to claw each other’s eyes out at the slightest provocation. As if we all secretly want each other to fail.

That has not been my experience with any real-life women I have known.

On the other hand, Bridesmaids did an excellent job of portraying a real female friendship and it was funnier than all those catfight movies. Plus, it was genuinely touching. It’s also about a long-term friendship on the rocks, but instead of resorting to catfight territory, the film found a way to make the friendship seem real — you could tell these women love each other, even when things go downhill so far they aren’t speaking.

I think most women can identify with the not-so-commendable but complex emotions that Kristen Wiig’s character experiences in the movie — trying to be happy for her best friend, while feeling jealous and mourning the fact that nothing’s going to ever be the same between them again. I think any woman who’s had a best friend or sister get married, or a friend develop a new friendship that excludes her, or a friend who otherwise moves into a different phase of her life, can identify with the mixed emotions that Kristen Wiig experiences.

Sure, some of the things she does to act out were a tad over the top (it is a comedy) but I totally believed the motivation behind all her actions and it wasn’t over something trivial. It was over their friendship. It was over being hurt. It wasn’t over a room. And a lot of the funniest moments where Wiig is ruining things for her friend, her motivation isn’t malicious; rather there’s a series of unfortunate circumstances. She doesn’t pick that restaurant hoping they’ll all get sick, and when Rose Byrne dopes her up on the plane, she might not have wonderful motivations but I don’t believe anyone expected what happened. Byrne just wants Wiig to stop fall asleep and/or stay away.

Speaking of Rose Byrne, even Bridesmaid‘s “mean girl” has a heart in the end and we understand the motivations behind her misdeeds–loneliness.

I wish more movies portrayed female relationships in such a real way and took the time to develop female characters.

To that end, I’d like every female writer reading this to take a solemn oath.

All together: I shall not portray female friendships using blatant negative stereotypes.

What do think? Am I off base here? Was I just in a bad mood when I saw Bride Wars? If you saw Bridesmaids, did you love the friendship between Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph as much as I did?

Maureen McGowan is the author of Cinderella: Ninja Warrior and Sleeping Beauty: Vampire Slayer, adventurous fairy tale re-imaginings where the heroines are capable of saving themselves—and get the prince. You can keep in touch with her at www.maureenmcgowan.com , follow her on Twitter or “like” her on Facebook and Goodreads.