Can I Have Sex With Ryan Gosling If I’m Married To George Clooney?

svance_4X6_72dpi~ By Sarah Vance-Tompkins

Let’s say, just for the sake of discussion, that I’m married to George Clooney. It’s true, I am an optimist, but it could happen, and my current husband knows that George Clooney is at the top of my laminated list.

Okay, as long as we’re doing magical thinking, let’s make this more interesting — let’s say YOU are married to George Clooney. We are all now very jealous because he’s kind, movie star-handsome and most of all – super-supportive of your writing career.

But, one dark and stormy night Ryan Gosling shows up on your doorstep. He whispers wickedly sweet nothings in your ear, flashes his six-pack abs, and begs you for one delicious night of passion.

What do you do?

I don’t think anyone would be critical if you succumbed to the seductive prowess of Mr. Gosling. Your friends and writing buddies would probably encourage you to go for it. They’d even offer to periodically text you with helpful and encouraging tidbits of advice.

Sure, there would be a few who would say you are betraying Mr. Clooney, but you could say they are just jealous.

On the other hand, if we return to the original scenario, and I was married to Mr. Clooney and was being seduced by Mr. Gosling, my BFF would call me on my game. “Hey, you crazy commitment-phobe,” she’d say, “It’s time to get back to the real world and finish what you’ve started. ”

You see, she knows the truth. She knows how hard it is to write and rewrite a manuscript to completion. It takes courage. It takes commitment. It takes focus.

Which brings us to my current situation – I am in the process of rewriting my rewrite of my work-in-progress, which, for our purposes here, we shall call “Mr. Clooney.” I love the protagonist, who has developed into such a strong and intriguing character. Her love interest has also surprised me throughout the story, and if I manage to stick to my current writing schedule, I will finish the rewrite in the next three weeks.


However… now, with the finish line clearly in sight, I’ve had a sudden burst of creative inspiration. It’s a brilliant idea for a new book. I love the protagonist. She is amazing, and fresh and new. I call this idea “Mr. Gosling.”

Not surprisingly, “Mr. Clooney” is starting to feel like a stale, longterm relationship. I know every sigh my heroine makes, every under-his-breath utterance by the hero, every plot twist, and every dark moment by heart. But “Mr. Gosling” is fresh and new. I get goose bumps when I think of another new plot twists and scenes.

I have made a commitment to the telling the stories of the characters I’ve created in “Mr. Clooney.” And while a break from rewriting and reworking could be restorative, it might also allow me to avoid crossing the finish line.

It’s a lesson in courage and commitment for me as a writer not to abandon this project. I just hope I have what it takes to remain faithful to Mr. Clooney. It may be the only long-term relationship he ever has.

Are you currently involved in a similar love triangle? I welcome your tips and suggestions.

Sarah Vance-Tompkins received an MFA in Film Production from the University of Southern California and went on to work in feature film development at Lightstorm Entertainment, The Ladd Company and USA Films, among others. Prior to film school, she wrote and produced radio and television commercials. She has worked as a reporter for a weekly entertainment trade publication, as well as a freelance journalist and movie reviewer. She has been paid to write obituaries, press releases, the directions for use on personal lubricant bottles, and descriptions of engagement rings for an online jewelry store. She works in social media marketing. Email her at

21 thoughts on “Can I Have Sex With Ryan Gosling If I’m Married To George Clooney?”

  1. When you wrote “because he’s kind, movie star-handsome and most of all – super-supportive of your writing career” I snorted so loud the dog lifted her head. This was so much fun to read. Thank you, Sarah!

    I think my problem is that as a rookie, I don’t even have George Clooney yet. I have Danny DeVito. He’s funny and kind, but…you know. Danny DeVito. When I look at Danny DeVito while Michael Fassbender knocks on my front door, I cling desperately to my favorite piece of writing advice. It’s from Neil Gaiman: “You have to finish things — that’s what you learn from, you learn by finishing things.”

  2. Love this article! Yes, I’m in the same exact boat. I seem to do this every time I’m deep into edits for the WIP. The new story comes at me hard, and I start taking furious notes, giving my muses full rein to play. But my actual work time is used exclusively for the WIP. The good news is by the time I send the WIP out the door, I’ve got a fully formed book waiting to be written. So, I usually see it as a good thing. When it becomes a bad thing is when the book I’m imagining comes out of nowhere and doesn’t fit into the schedule of contracted books that HAVE to be written. And that’s where I am right now. This next book? I can’t wait to write it, but I’ve got two series that I must work on, so it doesn’t fit at all. I struggled with whether or not to write it, until I remembered that this is the reason I’m a writer to begin with, and if I take the fun out of it and let it be nothing more than a job, I’ll surely lose the spark and find my pleasure in baking blueberry pies instead. So, let’s hope I can knock this one out quickly and get back on track with the contracted books.

  3. Thanks for the chuckle, Sarah! I’m also juggling several WIPs at the moment, but in different stages. I’m trying to stay true to the one that’s almost done, although I can’t think of it as “Mr. Clooney” since it’s YA and the hero is only 16, so that would be inappropriate (and creepy). When Mr. Gosling demands attention, all he gets is a few lines in the “notes” section and I’m back to George asap. Hugh Jackman introduced himself a couple of months ago and has been calling a lot lately, too, but as hard as it is to resist that Aussie accent, I’m holding steadfast. I’ve got to get the 16 year old out of the house before moving on to more adult pursuits. 🙂

  4. I’ve spent the last two hours searching for the Stephen King quote about not letting yourself get lured away by a bright new idea when in the middle of another book. It is a ploy to keep you from finishing that book. Couldn’t find it, so had to paraphrase it and did a lousy job, but I hope you catch my drift.

    I vote for Clooney. Ryan is a ploy.


  5. Awesome post, Sarah! I’m fairly certain you can rock both Mr. Clooney and Mr. Gosling’s worlds. 😉 But yeah, the key is to do so one at time. At least that’s the key that works for me. You can so do this! Go, Sarah, go!

  6. Oh, good God, yes. Yes. I’m on the homestretch with Mr. Clooney and have not only Mr. Gosling waiting in the wings, but right behind him, Mr. Depp. But have a seat, boys, because I have 3 kids and 2 dogs and cannot juggle 3 demanding stars simultaneously. This computer isn’t big enough. The day isn’t long enough.

    Thank you, Sarah, for reminding me to stay strong. Monogamy forever. (Or at least for two more weeks.)

  7. Okay, here we go…I’ve got a novella I’m working on, a YA novel that needs an ending, two sequels to a new contemporary series, plus a third novel in a series. I’m rotating these babies by the day, lol! I so don’t recommend it. This year is my year of finishing stuff. Hold me to that, please!

  8. Yes. I’ve had the pleasure of tasting George and Ryan, and while both are sweet, Ryan is new and exciting. But when I was just about to fall helplessly in love with Ryan and commit fully, George pulled me back to him, begging for my attention. What a popular woman I am. Now that I’m back with George, I can’t remember why I left him in the first place. He was my first love, my strongest love, and I need to see this relationship through. So poor Ryan has to wait, knowing I’m worth waiting for.

  9. I was just shtupping Mr. Gosling when I came across your story, Sarah! How about I finish with him while you finish with Clooney, then I’ll send him back over? Deal?

  10. What a hilarious writer post. I actually multi-task. George has no appeal to me, but I’m taking care of various members of the Los Angeles Kings hockey team, but one at the time. I do flirt. I’ll socialize. I’ll take down their numbers, but I don’t do the deed until I’ve exhausted the current guy. 🙂

  11. Clearly I have no imagination, because I can’t even think of my WIP as George. But, I will say you guys are hysterical! Loved the post and the comments just as much. With that said, I’m working on 4 projects at once and I want off this train. (Unless the train was really George, in which case I would not be jumping off, but jumping on… (Too much?) He is not a man I would throw over for anyone. Which is why I can’t make him a WIP.) Hell, the way I’m going, I’m juggling George, Ryan, Ben and Matt… Yeah… I tried…couldn’t do it. LOL.

  12. Sarah,

    Ha! I, too, have battled the urge to commit manuscript infidelity. Remain faithful to your current project! The wonderful thing is, (when it comes to story ideas anyway), Mr. Gosling will be there when you’ve “ended” things with Mr. Clooney. 😉

  13. Oh yes…the latest big shiny…shows up every time, and in various forms. Usually somewhere around the dreaded sinking middle. The big shiny (or Mr. Gosling,) does his best to entice, but you must remain firm, true to Mr. Clooney. Do not be swayed. It is a trick.

  14. Sarah,
    This happens to me EVERY SINGE TIME I near the end of rewriting a book. That wicked whore Ryan Gosling comes and asks me to get on the back of his motorcycle for a ‘quick’ ride whenever George and I are feeling particularly committed. Don’t FALL FOR IT!

  15. Hilarious, Sarah! I’m having an affair with Viggo Mortenson and Paul Newman in current over-fifty tantric romance. And when I am done I must toss them aside for new men. I’m such a harlot.

    I agree with Kady too. Finish off Mr. Clooney until he is well satisfied and then do Brian. He will be there waiting for you when you are ready.

  16. Hi Sarah,
    Well…you do have a vivid imagination!!! I’ve learned to stick with George, otherwise my libido gets the best of me. Sorry, no Ryan for me, until I’m completely done with George!!

  17. LOL. Sarah – what a great way to put this situation. I’m right there with you. I’m editing Mr. Clooney (roun 152 for me, but round 1 with my editor), writing Mr. Gosling (round 1), and Mr. Efron is definitely flirting with me.

    I agree with Kady – stick with Mr. Clooney. Maybe take some notes on Mr. Gosling, just so you don’t lose him (some email flirting instead of a full date). So hard to pick when the ideas are flowing.

    Thanks for the giggle!

  18. OMG, Sarah, this is so funny! My current love triangle involves having already slept with Mr. Gosling and conducting an intense affair, while having every intention of returning to Mr. Clooney just as soon as the Gosling fling has run its course. In your case, I would urge you to remain faithful to Mr. Clooney, as Mr. Gosling isn’t going anywhere, and you’ll have much more fun with him knowing you did right by Mr. Clooney. 😉

  19. I’m currently in a menage a quatre with two new lovers and one I’ve been involved with for an extended period of time. I’m new to this sort of predicament as I prefer to be monogamous until I tire of my lover or he has evolved enough to go out into the world and seek out new relationships. Various commitments have made it necessary for me to allow new lovers to distract me. Very soon, I expect my long timer to say he’s done, freeing me to spend more time with my other paramours. I’m looking forward to downgrading to a menage a trois. This is getting exhausting!

    Thanks for the laugh! Kick Mr. Clooney out soon!

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