Lovin’ her Body and Soul

dave smiling more (2)~ By Dave Thome

I recently ran across this quote:

“If a man loves a woman’s soul, he’ll end up loving one woman, but if he loves a woman’s face, all the women in the world won’t satisfy him.”

It sounded good, but I kept wondering exactly why.

I started by examining my own experience. I’ve fallen in love three times—five if you include two of my own female characters. But I don’t think falling in love with characters who are essentially you counts.

My first love was a girl in high school. She was cute, but I suspect most guys wouldn’t describe her as sexy or hot like women from websites such as https://www.hdsexvideo.xxx/. Some people thought we were mismatched because I was on the Dean’s List and she wondered who this Dean guy was, but we talked and laughed a lot. She made me feel good.

Then I had a girlfriend in college. Kind of. Actually, she had a boyfriend—but it wasn’t me. She had held onto her high school crush and installed me as the workaday stand-in. She was cuter and smarter than my high school lady, but eventually I was the one asking what I was thinking.

Then I met Mary Jo. Both of us fell fast and hard, entertaining thoughts after just a few days that he/she was The One. I will say that I did love her face. And her body. Her hair. Her clothes–all that stuff. I truly thought she was a beautiful woman in the way we most commonly mean in our society, which is to say physically. After a three-year courtship and thirty-two years of marriage, I still do.

But what did her soul have to do with it? I don’t remember thinking much about that.

I turned to the Internet, and my hasty and incomplete research introduced me to examples of sublime wisdom such as this quote from Aarti Khurana at Life Love Quotes and Sayings.com:

“Real men don’t fall in love with a woman’s body. You don’t need to have amazing curves or a flawless complexion to be defined as attractive. Your beauty is not a criteria for a man to fall in love with you. When a man loves you for your compassionate heart and your beautiful soul, then you will be the most beautiful woman on this planet just for him.”

There was more wisdom on the topic at this page, but an ad for plus-size women’s clothing blocked it out.

My research, such as it was, also led me to the profane, such as this gem at Brainy Quotes.com uttered by contemporary deep thinker Paris Hilton: “No matter what a woman looks like, if she’s confident, she’s sexy.”

Nonetheless, much wisdom can come from the profane, and for that I needed to look no further than my own romance stories. In San Fernando Dreams, Douglyss—who is adept in the deployment of a profane tongue, says, “We’re all a little weird, or got some bug up our ass, or some bullshit. And if you can’t find someone to put up with whatever the fuck it is, you might as well not even exist.” A few pages later, she realizes who that person is for her.

In Palm Springs Heat, Sushma asks Clay, “What do you see in Lara Dixon?” He says that he and Lara had similar life experiences, that they shared important conversations and that “she seems to get me.” Noting that Clay’s had lots of lovers, Sushma sums it up this way: “You are saying that all of the women were beautiful, but you were looking for something more that was always missing.”

In Malibu Bride, Sushma is disagreeable, pushy and bossy—personality traits that often get her into hot water. Holt, though, loves her not in spite of those things, but because of those things. “I like it when she talks back,” he says. “It helps me keep my edge.”

So I seem to have addressed my own question before I even asked it, a sign that I really knew the answer all along. Our physical and intellectual—and even spiritual—flaws can hide the beauty in our souls. But not from everyone.

Especially not The One.

* Can you think of things you’ve read—or written—in romance novels that helped you articulate your own feelings about love?

DC (or David, as his mother calls him) Thome started out as a journalist and moved on to write twenty screenplays, including four that almost got made into movies, before turning to novels. He started writing romance novels because, “My wife and I are freelance writers, and when we were having a slow month, she announced she was going to write a short erotic romance and sell it to an online publisher. I thought that if she was man enough to do that, I should be,too. She tried to read one and because she couldn’t make herself finish it, decided she couldn’t write an erotic romance. I read the same book and realized that since no one had had sex by page 40 of my novel, it probably wasn’t ‘erotic.’” The novel turned into the Fast Lane trilogy.

DC (or Dave, as his friends call him) has a regular freelance gig writing about car technology, but he cannot fix your car. He and his wife Mary Jo are empty-nesters who live a few blocks from Lake Michigan in a little suburb near downtown Milwaukee.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dave.thome.5

2 thoughts on “Lovin’ her Body and Soul”

  1. Dave. Loved – Loved – you post. And your wife writing erotica, too funny. I said I didn’t write erotica because I thought BSDM was erotica. LOL. But I have some pretty erotic scenes in my books.
    Glad to have made your acquaintance.

  2. Dave,
    You rock. And all three of your romance books in your series need to be made into a movie franchise!
    Christine DeSmet, Fudge Shop Mystery Series (no erotica, but Belgian chocolate fudge helping the romance along)

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