Note: read this true experience (from 6-26-2016) and then tell us what you would write for the very next line.
He: “I’m thinking about making some cowboy beans this evening for supper. You okay with my beans?”
She: “Sounds lovely.”
– – – Later that evening – – –
He is browning the meat and hears chopping behind him.
She sneaks over and dumps a pile of fragments into the meat.
He: “What was that?”
She: “Just a few onions.”
After some more stirring, he is briefly looking the other way when she squirts in a considerable volume of something from a squeeze bottle.
He: “What was that?”
She: “Just a little ketchup.”
He continues to stir and is checking the clock (in the other direction) momentarily when she shakes in several dollups of something.
He: “What was that?”
She: “Just a little Liquid Smoke.”
He: “Hey, who’s making these cowboy beans? You or me?”
She: “You are, of course.”
[Okay, now that you’ve read the actual experience, tell us what you’d write for the very next line, if it was in your own story.]
Jeff Salter, who has written 12 novels and five novellas, already has 14 fiction titles released with three royalty publishers. His most recent is “The Duchess of Earl” released in mid-July by Clean Reads. Two more titles are due out this year and he has several works in progress.
I would leave it at that, with no more conversation, just a description of what he was thinking. He line needs no follow up.
thanks for posting, Judy.
He, covers the beans, turns the heat to low, slips his hand against her low back, and pulls her against him in a smooth move that takes her breath away. “Who is?”
She pushes her hands half heartedly against his chest. “You.” Her mouth curls into a playful smile, that reminds him of the night he first pulled her from the crowd below the stage.
He plants a searing kiss on her lips, backing her against the kitchen doort.
“What about the beans?”
“Time to simmer.”
that’s a terrific ending, Katina. Wish I had thought of it.
I hope we get several comments, because often in such real life experiences, I’m left speechless. And I wonder what a good fiction writer would do with that setup.